Bet
by scribbles of madness
Summary: In which Naruto tries to help Sasuke confirm his manhood with an innocent bet and Sakura is none the wiser.  EVENTUALLY SASUSAKU...sorry for any wrong assumptions!
1. Luck is not on Sasuke's side

**A/N: Something tells me this idea was already made into a story a lot of times. I just want to see if I could get capture Sasuke's personality correctly this time since I'm terrible at that. No matter how much I want this to happen, I know it wouldn't since Sasuke's being a huge butt right now. We SasuSaku fans can only hope so much.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Naruto knows a lot about Sasuke.

As his best friend, he was _supposed _to. The same way Naruto is aware of Sasuke's bizarre fondness for tomatoes and likes taking walks, he is also aware that Sasuke is rather fond of competition. So when the craziest idea ever—crazy enough that it could get them both killed—crossed his mind that morning, he did not hesitate to drop by Sasuke's house that day after his mission from Sunagakure.

Naruto knocked on Sasuke's door. There was no reply. Shrugging his shoulders, he opened the door and went inside.

"Teme?" he called.

Sasuke came back to the village a year ago, right before the Second Great Ninja Wars. He served as the captain of Konoha's army of shinobi to fight against other villages. Sasuke refused to state his reason of return, thus Tsunade ordered 24-hour surveillance on the Uchiha. After several months of nothing worth getting suspicious about, he was then treated as a normal villager.

"Oi, teme, where are you?" Naruto called again.

"What do you want?" Sasuke appeared from the kitchen, looking slightly annoyed at being disturbed.

While already faithful to the village, Sasuke's degradation towards Naruto remained, though they were still considered as best friends.

"If Sakura-chan got, I dunno, _pregnant_ by some guy who raped her, what're you gonna do?" Naruto asked, settling down on his best friend's couch.

Sasuke said nothing. It wasn't new to him anyway. Ever since he came back, Naruto was determined to hook Sasuke and Sakura up, either by forcing an awkward moment between the two or asking questions that are just as stupid as the one he asked earlier.

"Hey, look here. I came by to see if you wanna take on a bet."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes suspiciously. From experience, Naruto's bets are not something to be taken lightly. It may seem like practical jokes, but for the past few months, they led them to nothing but trouble. Like suspension from missions and severe training with Gai. "Does this one involve anything explosive?"

Naruto chuckled. "No."

"The Hot Springs?"

"No."

"Kakashi's mask?"

"Maybe some other time again, but no."

"…does this have anything to do with Sakura?"

Naruto stifled a laugh. "Maybe."

Sasuke glared at Naruto, He didn't like how this one will turn out. He respected Sakura now, just as much respect as Neji had given Tenten. Well, before they started dating anyway. Those two shared more than just respect. Like, I dunno, saliva.

"Are you thinking about doing the bet?"

"No. Absolutely not."

Naruto pouted. "Aw, whatever. You're no fun."

He started walking towards the door, before adding, "You just love her, that's why."

That's it. Naruto had just begun his indomitable persuasion.

"No, I just feel it is disrespectful to our female teammate to treat her as an object of something as stupid as a bet."

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Hn."

"You just love her and you're afraid that she'll get mad at you."

"I find it a complete waste of her time if she gets mad at me for some silly reason."

Naruto cocked an eyebrow. This one's being unusually hard to crack. "Aw, that's sweet. _Sasuke-kun _cares so much for _Sakura-chan_."

Sasuke couldn't help but be a little curious. "So what's the bet about anyway?"

"I dunno. I don't think I should say. Seeing how you love her so much, you're just gonna say no."

If looks could kill, Naruto would have dug himself fifteen graves by now.

He gulped. "Uh, it's about being the one to kiss her first."

"Dobe."

"See? You love her. And you're afraid I might kiss her before you do."

"It's inappropriate."

"No it's fun and another way of proving I'm superior to you."

Sasuke couldn't suppress a smug smirk at that one. "You are not superior to me."

"Yeah, sure, of course I'm not. That why I totally kicked your ass and dragged you back to Konoha. And also why Itachi came looking for _me _when he came here, not you. _And _I'm already a Chuunin while you are, in fact, a Genin. This is the only chance you've got to prove you're not inferior to Konohamaru and his buddies. Or maybe you'd wait until you're the only teenager in Konoha who hasn't kissed anyone yet, thus further explaining my point that you are such a loser. Yeah, you are _so _superior to me."

"I don't see how kissing has anything to do with you being superior to me."

"Jesus Christ, teme! Konohamaru kissed more girls than you had! He kissed one girl more than you! Isn't that sad?"

"He kissed more girls than you did, too!"

"That's why I'm challenging you to this bet! So _I_ could win and wish you good luck on your next kissless years."

"Still, I'm not in."

"You like being labeled gay, teme?"

"Alright, I'm in."

"So the rules are _either of us _should kiss her, not the other way around, the kiss should last for more than three seconds and she should not be coerced into doing so," Naruto explained.

"So how much?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto grinned. "Isn't our pride and the verification of our manhood we would obtain enough?"

Sasuke grumbled. "You owe me so much for this."

"Don't worry, I'll help you nurse your wounded ego once I win," Naruto teased.

"Open that mouth of yours again and I'll break your jaw."

Naruto laughed. "So there. I guess I wish you luck then."

"I don't need it. Better earn all your luck today. You'll need all the luck in the world," Sasuke said, suddenly confident.

"Then may the best man win," Naruto said, holding out his hand.

With the smirk still plastered on his devilishly handsome face, Sasuke shook his hand.

Haruno Sakura had just finished her shift for the day and was about to leave the hospital.

"Ja ne, Tsunade-sama! Shizune-san!" Sakura called over her shoulder.

"See you, tomorrow, Sakura," Shizune greeted back.

Tsunade smiled at Sakura. "You did great today, Sakura."

Sakura walked out of the hospital, feeling pretty good about herself. It was rather hard to get a compliment out of her shishou when it came to medical matters. She was headed for Sasuke's apartment. It was a ritual. Every afternoon, after her shifts at the hospital, Sakura drops by her former teammate's home, usually chatting about small stuff, like how's training sessions going and what happened at the hospital. But occasionally, they talk about deep, serious stuff which they usually share over coffee and until nighttime. Then Sasuke walks Sakura home. Sometimes, for old times' sake, Sakura teases Sasuke and mock-asks him out.

"Konnichiwa, Sakura-chan!"

Naruto ran up to her. Sakura smiled. It's been so long since she hung out with him. With their conflicting schedules, they rarely even see each other. Except for the times Naruto seldom visits the hospital because of his injuries.

"Hey, Naruto. It's great to see you not at the hospital today," she told him.

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah. It is."

A pregnant silence enveloped between them. Naruto was thinking how he could get her to kiss him before Sasuke-teme does. Then he smiled surreptitiously at his own success of getting Sasuke to take on the bet. Of course, he didn't really want to win. It's just another one of his twisted ways to hook them up. Still, it was fun to dare Sasuke.

"So, um, are you, like, busy tonight?" he boldly asked. "You think you wanna go by Ichiraku?"

Sakura's shock was evident. It wasn't like he'd never asked her out before. But the last time he tried to ask her out was ages ago. This is undeniably suspicious.

She narrowed her eyes at him and said, "Are you messing with me?"

Naruto was quick to protest. "No, of course not! I would never do that!"

Sakura pursed her lips and said. "You sure?"

Naruto nodded, and then grinned sheepishly. "Sorry I can't take you somewhere fancier. I can't afford it."

This had somehow melted Sakura's heart. His modesty made her want to go out for him, for his sake.

"Yeah, sure, I'll go out with you. Tonight? Does 6:00 sound good?" she asked her tone soft and sweet.

Naruto inwardly groaned. He kinda wanted her to refuse. Now _how _will Sasuke win and get to kiss her? Nevertheless, Sasuke was never one to lose any sort of competition. This bet will have to stretch for a few more days,

After saying her goodbye to Naruto, she started to continue to Sasuke's apartment, but then stopped in her tracks. She walked the opposite direction, towards the shopping stores.

'I should buy something new to wear tonight. I should at least look presentable for Naruto. I hope Sasuke-kun wouldn't notice that I wasn't able to go by today. Besides, he's probably so busy with his training to get into the Chuunin exams, he wouldn't notice,' she thought.

Meanwhile, at Sasuke's apartment, the man himself sat impatiently at his couch. It had been one hour since the end of Sakura's shift; where is she? He had his strategy planned out so well. He lit candles around the apartment, telling her when she comes that the power is out. Then he'll feign illness and she'll just have to stay. He even made up the symptoms: temporary hearing loss (so she'll have to lean closer when she talks), hoarse voice (so she'll have to lean over when _he_ talks), sinus congestion and chronic cough. Then when she gets close enough to him, he'll kiss her. Just like that. It was all so perfect, now where in Konoha could she be? He couldn't afford to lose this bet. Sure it sounds stupid but can you blame him for refusing to hear one more "Hey, Sasu-gay!" directed at him? The last person who called him that received an on-the-spot cremation.

"Damn it, I need to kiss her before Naruto does!" he shouted aloud.

It was quarter to six and Naruto was picking out the most decent-looking clothes in his closet. The only suit he had was still dirty from that wedding he attended as a mission. That took place five months ago. Five months and three weeks. Oh, fine, seven months. But there was no way he'd show up to the date in his ninja gear. That was just lousy. After twenty-four minutes of careful consideration, he pulled out a white long-sleeved polo shirt and a pair of black pants.

"The bastard better be _trying _to get her to kiss him," Naruto complained to himself. "He has no idea how hard it is to dress up to eat ramen. Me? Dress up? To _eat_ _ramen_? Damn crazy."

He pulled his shirt over his head and wore the black pants. After taking one last glance at the mirror, he set off to Ichiraku. He decided to pass by Sasuke's house after toying around with the idea of rubbing in his face that he was going on a date with Sakura. He grinned to himself when he heard Sasuke banging around in his kitchen and walked in.

"Hey, loser," Naruto called.

Sasuke looked behind him and scowled when he saw Naruto all dressed up.

"Haha, I can't believe I made you look when I called you loser," Naruto laughed.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, nothing," Naruto innocently replied. "Hey, listen. Do I look good? I'm going out on a date with Sakura-chan."

Glare.

Smile.

Darker glare.

Chuckle.

"Sooooo, I'd love to hang around but I don't want to be late for my date," Naruto said, deciding he wounded Sasuke's pride enough. For tonight, anyway. "Say, have _you _ever been on a date?"

"Get outta here."

"Better take the bet seriously," Naruto laughingly advised before sailing out the door.

Sasuke gritted his teeth when Naruto left. He _was _taking this bet seriously. He just needed to try harder, seeing that luck obviously wasn't on his side today.

An unconscious thought crossed Sasuke's mind. He smirked. What was he doing? He's, like, Konoha's number one heartthrob, the hottest—living, anyway—shinobi in their village. Three-fourths of Konoha has an ultimate crush on him. It was said he even turned several men gay.

A kiss can't be _that _hard to give.

Then a crease embedded in Sasuke's forehead when he remembered who exactly would receive that kiss.

Haruno Sakura.

**Woah. Originally, I wanted this one to be one-shot but, well, it turned out longer than I expected. If you're wondering why Sasuke became distressed about kissing Sakura, it's because this just wasn't any other girl; it's, well, Sakura and he fears—LOL, that's right, Sasuke **_**fears **_**something—that now that they've become friends again and all, this would affect their friendship. Plus, he thinks that Sakura wouldn't take too lightly the fact that she is the object of a bet. REVIEWS, PLEASE! :)**


	2. If Only

**A/N: Aww. I'm so touched :) I was starting to think I should delete this. Oh, and Sasuke is DEFINITELY going to crash Sakura and Naruto's date. Sorry, NaruSaku fans, but I ain't gonna put Naruto's lips anywhere near Sakura's. As you can see…I AM SEVERELY AGAINST NARUSAKU**

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, I won't even give a second thought on the idea of killing Deidara.

* * *

The night found Naruto and Sakura walking together under the moonlit sky towards Ichiraku. He looked like he was telling her a story and her laughs broke the unusual silence in the village's marketplace where they were strolling through, which was bustling with activity in the morning. Unknown to both of them, a certain Uchiha was watching them from a distance. (1)

"This has got to be the most pathetic thing I've ever done," he said to himself earlier before leaving the comfort of his abode. "But I can't lose this bet…no matter how freaking ridiculous it is."

Sasuke shifted his position on the tree where he is currently perched on. _An international criminal spying on his teammates from a tree…brilliant, Sasuke._

Meanwhile, a somewhat awkward silence hovered over Sakura and Naruto. He thought about the bet and if he was smart for challenging Sasuke. She distracted herself in other matters, trying to ignore the fact that was spending her _first date _with Naruto. _Naruto_.

"Listen," they said simultaneously.

Sakura bit the inside of her cheek. Ino told her that one of the signs that a date is going _horrendously wrong _is when there's awkward silence and they say something at the same time. Then again, Sakura neglected to mention that Ino also told her a date would be a guaranteed fail if she had the date with Naruto (2).

"You go first," Naruto urged.

"Oh, no. You go."

"Nah, it's okay….you go first."

"No, no, it's alright."

Silence once again enveloped the two. Their pleasantly in sync footsteps echoed through the empty streets.

"So…" they said again in unison.

Sakura mentally slapped herself. If this is how the start for their date is, then she didn't even want to go to Ichiraku anymore.

* * *

Sasuke was smirking in satisfaction at the scene that he had just witnessed. This is good. If they kept this up, perhaps Sakura would ditch him and even go to his house since she failed to meet with him that afternoon. It's only 6:15, after all.

No, she's too nice for that. She wouldn't ditch him. Maybe come up with an excuse. _Then _she'll come over.

A low chuckle (an evil one, but a chuckle nonetheless) even escaped Sasuke's mouth when he saw the distressed look flash across Sakura's face when they said something at the same time again. The reason for his enjoyment was not because of Sakura's discomfort. No, of course not. It was because with every cringe or wince of Sakura, there would be a less chance this 'date' would continue until Ichiraku, thus, less chance of Naruto kissing Sakura.

Alright, so Sakura's discomfort is _partly _the reason.

Abandoning his thoughts for a short while, he leapt down from the tree with no much as a sound and stealthily followed Naruto and Sakura.

* * *

Ichiraku was surprisingly isolated that evening. It was a usual social gathering place where Konoha 11, or now that Sasuke had returned, Konoha 12, met to catch up with one another. But then again, seeing that the entirety of Konoha seemed void of people, this isn't too surprising.

"Wonder where everyone is," Naruto mused as he lifted the flap.

Sakura shrugged. Though she herself had pondering why the village seemed so empty.

"What'll you have, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked his companion.

"Uh, miso ramen. And I'll have those anko dumplings, too," she replied.

Sakura was feeling distracted, like there was this feeling in her gut. She feels like someone was following them.

"Hey, Naruto?"

The boy looked at her and smiled. "Yeah?"

"I'm not feeling well," she said. "I feel like someone's following us."

Naruto stared at her for a while before laughing. "Don't worry, Sakura-chan! If someone was following us, I'll fight them off! 'Cause, you know, I'm really awesome and, uh…dattebayo!"

He may be laughing on the outside but inwardly, he was afraid that Sasuke was stalking them. _What is wrong with that bastard? Doesn't he know how to stalk someone properly? Ch._

Teuchi placed the bowls of ramen and a plate of anko dumplings in front of Sakura and Naruto.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura called just after muttering 'Itadakimasu'. "Come out of there. What are you hiding for?"

Naruto froze when he heard Sakura, just as Sasuke stiffened when she called out his name. While he may be inhumanely skilled, he still wasn't the best at chakra control. It may be a bruise to his ego but even he admits that Sakura is the best at masking and detecting chakra.

"Sasuke-teme?" Naruto played along. "What the hell are you doing there?"

Sasuke begrudgingly leapt down from the tree. He refused to meet Sakura's eyes.

"I was feeling left out," he stiffly said. "I…followed you."

Sakura let out a sharp laugh. "_Left out? _Are you _kidding_?"

Naruto restrained himself from laughing outright. Sasuke may be his best friend but moments like this are just so _precious_.

"No."

Sakura, now very confused, looked to Naruto for any hints. He shrugged innocently while discreetly giving Sasuke a mocking glance.

"Why did you have to stalk us all the way here?" Sakura asked.

"It would be rude of me to interrupt you," Sasuke replied. "I could see you were in the middle of doing something…_important_."

The word sounded forced from his lips.

"Couldn't you have the balls to do even that?" Naruto muttered as he was lifting the chopsticks to his lips.

Sasuke glared at Naruto's back. "What was that?"

"Oh, nothing. I said you're so chivalrous," Naruto said.

"I see you're on a date," Sasuke observed. "Ichiraku doesn't very well strike me as a place to have a date."

Naruto was personally offended at his remark. He turned around in his seat. "_You're _one to talk, bastard! Well, you don't strike me as a romantic person! So there!"

Sakura looked back and forth at the men fighting in front of her, utterly baffled.

"This bet has nothing to do with romance!" Sasuke shot back.

"I didn't say anything about the bet, _moron!_"

"Well, it still doesn't!"

"What bet?" Sakura interjected.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other with a meaningful glance. She couldn't _know _about this. With _that _kind of strength, they really had no idea what forms of torture she'll use on both of them. One thing is that she's a _friend_. What even sucks is that she has a _right _to injure them in any way she wants. And being a girl is just at the bottom of the list.

"See, Sakura-chan," Naruto said, chuckling nervously. "The bastard and I had this bet going on…"

Sakura crossed her arms and looked at them expectantly.

_That _posture_ and that look_, Naruto panicked on the inside. _This is bad. _

"Sasuke would tell you more about it!" he said quickly, passing the ball on to Sasuke.

The Uchiha was shocked that Naruto just did that. _And he calls himself my best friend._

"Well," he started, acting tough for his own sake.

Sakura started _tapping her foot_.

"It was a guy thing," Sasuke said.

Naruto shot him a critical glance. _Really? Do you want us _killed_?_

"I'm curious," Sakura replied.

"It's a long story," Sasuke countered.

"I've got nothing but time."

_Damn._

"We had a bet on who could eat the most bowls of ramen in one night," Sasuke quickly said.

It was the first thing that came to mind. Naruto banged his face on the table.

Sakura gave him a disappointed look. "Naruto's enough, but _you_, Sasuke-kun?" She sighed heavily. "Well, I guess I don't have anything better to do, seeing that you interrupted our night. I'll be your referee."

As she walked back under the flap, Sasuke mentally punted himself. _Brilliant, Sasuke. Just brilliant._

He followed her into Ichiraku. "Hey, dumb-ass, wake up."

Naruto lifted his head and rubbed his forehead. "What do you want?"

"We're gonna have a ramen contest."

* * *

Sasuke groaned as he walked back home. His stomach _hurt_. Like hell, he could add. Sakura called it a draw when they reached their 49th bowl. She bid both of them good night and good bye.

He looked at his friend, who was equally in pain.

"No…more…" Naruto said to himself. "Too much ramen."

Then he looked at Sasuke with a disapproving look. "Next time, leave the excuses to me."

To Sasuke, it seemed like Naruto was almost starting to give up on the bet. So he decided to let his thoughts be heard.

"Hey, dobe," he said.

Naruto grunted in response.

"I think it would be best if we called off the bet," Sasuke said.

Naruto looked at him. Somehow, he started having flashbacks of that time back in the Forest of Death, with Sasuke surrendering their earth scroll and Naruto calling him a coward for surrendering.

"You're giving up?" he asked incredulously.

"I can't eat forty-nine bowls of ramen," Sasuke sighed. "I just can't."

Naruto snorted. "Whatever, dude, I'm not the one who's still a virgin."

"Right, so I—wait a minute…aren't you a virgin, too?"

"Maybe."

"Are you telling me that you haven't been kissed but you've already...slept with someone?" Sasuke skeptically asked.

"Yeah, that's what I'm saying."

"Uh, okay, but anyway, can we stop it already?"

"Fine. We're doing this for your own good."

"I think I can handle my problem alone."

Suddenly Kiba came along, taking Akamaru for a midnight walk. "HEY, LOOK, IT'S SASU-GAY!"

"_KATON: GOUKAKYUU NO JUTSU!_"

Naruto stared at the burnt mess that is Kiba on the ground. "As you were saying?"

"The bet is still on."

Naruto grinned. "Oh, it is _on_."

* * *

Sakura sighed as she finished her tirade. She was on the phone with Ino, like Ino always is after a date.

"What do you think is up with those two?" she asked Ino.

"I dunno, it's probably a guy thing," Ino replied.

"Well, it's annoying!" Sakura wailed. "What about my needs? That really wasn't my idea of a first date."

"I know, right? You didn't even get laid!" Ino remarked.

"Ino!"

Sakura heard Ino laugh at the end of the line.

"Kidding!" Ino giggled. "It wasn't your idea of a first date once you found out he's taking you to Ichiraku."

She snorted.

Sakura said in a soft tone, "He warned me beforehand and a date to Ichiraku isn't that bad."

"Isn't _that _bad?" Ino said, sounding angry. "You have Uchiha Sasuke stalking both of you and his pathetic excuse is because he's _left out_?"

"Yeah…"

"Sakura," Ino said in her motherly, Sakura-you-poor-daft-you tone. "Sasuke"—she dropped the suffix long ago when Shikamaru gave in on giving her flowers in her own flower shop—"would not, and I repeat, would _not _lower himself to stalking you guys just because he was feeling _left out_. There's something fishy going on here."

"Your verdict, Sherlock?"

"They might be having a bet on your account," Ino concluded.

"Nah, they'd be too proud for that," Sakura said.

"Too bad. It would've been cool if they are."

"I could only dream," Sakura sighed. Then she remembered something. "Hey, Ino. Did you notice that Konoha was weirdly empty today?"

"Oh, that. See, when I found out you're going out with Naruto, I told everyone the sky is falling."

"…."

"Getting late. Bye, Sakura."

"Bye, Ino. Good night."

Sakura hung up. She sighed wistfully as she thought about Ino's conclusion.

"A bet," she muttered. "If only."

**1) No matter how much we wish it's him, it's NOT Itachi.**

**2) LOL. I'm so mean to Naruto ;)**

**A/N: Aww, I'm so mean to Kiba :)) I love the guy but he seems just right for that part. I'm so sorry for the late update! I've been so busy in my one-shots that it actually slipped my mind that I have an in-progress story! Yikes. I'm such a lousy author, I'm so sorry! Thanks for the support anyway! I really appreciate you guys urging me to continue. I love you all! **

**Reviews, please :) I promise, I'll update earlier.**


	3. Conversations Between Team 7

**A/N: I can't decide how in the world Sakura could get that kiss. LOL. I torture Sasuke too much. Alright, then. Consider **_**Bet **_**the FOURTH INSTILLATION OF THE **_**TORTURE SASUKE THROUGH FANFICS **_**SAGA :D**

**(Sasuke: What did I ever do to **_**you**_**?)**

**How'd you guys like the second chapter? I had fun writing that and laughing at my own jokes :))**

Disclaimer: Me + Ownership of Naruto = DEIDARA'S STILL ALIVE.

* * *

_Of all the rotten luck_, Sasuke angrily thought to himself.

That day, he was supposed to go on an escort mission. He expected to return home before the day ends. He was requested for by a feudal prince and he was confident in his own abilities to protect the prince until he reaches his destination in the Wind Country. But then he was called by the Hokage at the last minute, reassigning him to another mission.

"Sasuke-kun! Should we stop and rest now?" a female voice he knew so well called out behind him.

Tsunade gave him an ambush mission with _Sakura_. Of course, not that there's anything wrong with being with her. It might even give him a chance to win the bet. But then…

"Oi, teme! My feet hurt already! Stop acting tough and let me rest for a while, you bastard!"

_Naruto _had to come as well.

Sasuke looked behind him, irritated. "Fine. Stop being loud."

"_Who's being loud?_" Naruto yelled.

"Naruto!" Sakura called his name in a reprimanding tone. "I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun. He's just really tired so he's being cranky."

Sasuke grunted his response. The annoying thing about being _alone _with his former team with no supervision from Kakashi was that he wanted to snap at Naruto for being so _damn annoying_, but then he couldn't because Sakura always had to apologize for him and come up with a reason for Naruto's behavior. And if he did snap, then he'd feel like he was snapping at Sakura and she would feel bad and he'd feel guilty. Also, Naruto would yell at him. That would be so annoying. At least Kakashi would balance things out. If he wasn't so engrossed in that book. Which was all the time.

Sasuke sighed at his problem. He almost wished he just stayed as a missing nin and a criminal. _Almost_. Dealing with a whole freaking ANBU battalion is so much easier then dealing with Naruto. And Sakura. Okay, maybe not much on Sakura. But definitely Naruto.

"So who are the guys we're supposed to be going up against again?" Naruto asked casually as he removed his sandal and massaged his aching foot.

Sakura stared at him in disdain. "You idiot! Stop acting as if this is such an easy task!"

"We're going to ambush some ninjas from the Rock Village. They're Jounin, about six, and we are composed of two Chuunin—"

"And one Genin," Naruto finished, smirking triumphantly.

Even Sakura seemed to be smiling in amusement. Sasuke crossed his arms.

"Fine. And one Genin," he said.

"I used to be an S-rank criminal, you know," Sasuke added, in hopes of getting respect for himself.

"That's not really something to be proud of…_you know_," Naruto remarked, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, guys, I'm gonna get some water," Sakura said, trying to stop their argument. They've been getting worse and worse with every day that passes by. "We're running out."

She got the thermos from Sasuke and went off to find some water. Meanwhile, Naruto and Sasuke got into a glaring contest.

"You are not going to get anywhere near Sakura's lips," Sasuke said in a threatening tone.

"Oh, I am _so _scared," Naruto replied. Then he gave the dark-haired man a sly smirk. "You sound a little jealous there."

This seemed to catch Sasuke by surprise. "N-No. I meant that I'm going to win this bet."

"Uh-huh," Naruto seemed unconvinced.

"No, I'm _serious_!" Sasuke said between gritted teeth.

"Sure, you are."

Sasuke cursed himself. The damage was done. He just made himself sound like _such _a boyfriend. Sasuke shivered inwardly.

"I'm going to look for Sakura," he said.

He stood up and was about to go where Sakura disappeared a moment ago.

"Use protection, alright?" Naruto called out behind him.

He just barely missed the kunai that Sasuke threw in his direction.

_This has nothing to do with me having feelings for Sakura_, Sasuke thought. _Hell, I don't even have feelings for her. Stupid Naruto. He has no idea what it's like being labeled a homosexual. Stupid Neji. Leaving me all alone to feel like this. Stupid Sakura. She just _had _to exist!_

He gave up leaping around trees three minutes ago and settled for walking. He can't find any body of water for Sakura to get water. Then his heart stopped a little when he realized something.

_Maybe she was attacked_, he fearfully thought. _No, she's a skilled kunoichi and she could fight them off. I trust her abilities as a ninja and she would be smart in whatever situation she's in_.

"Sasuke-kun?"

He whirled around and saw a surprised Sakura.

"Sakura."

The girl peered at him closely. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing. I was…I was looking for you," he said.

This would probably send her in a flurry of questions. First, he was _stalking _her. And Naruto. Now, he was _looking _for her. His first reason was nowhere near believable, what plausible reason could he come up with now?

_She'll get the wrong idea. Damn._

"Why would you be looking for me?" Sakura asked as she came closer.

Sasuke started to open his mouth to say that he was worried…okay, not worried but curious what took her so long. Then he realized she'd get insulted and go off in another rant about being a woman and her right as an able kunoichi and 'an insult to women everywhere!'.

"I was…getting thirsty," Sasuke said.

_Good job, Uchiha._

"Oh," Sakura said thoughtfully. "Well, here."

She handed him the thermos. Sasuke gave her a thankful glance. As much thanks a fleeting look could give.

"Well, we should go back to Naruto now," Sakura said. "We can't leave him alone too long. He's such a child that way."

Sasuke was used to this new trait of Sakura. She'd treat him more and more like a younger brother. At one point, Sasuke confronted Naruto about this, saying he should be the one to be aggressive and protect her, not the other way around. Naruto only laughed and said, "And who are you supposed to be? The overprotective boyfriend?"

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura said.

"What?"

"I'm…I'm really happy you decided to come home," she said in barely a whisper.

Stunned, Sasuke stood there, not really knowing how to react to _that_. Of course he knew she was glad and relieved he came back but she never really said it outright. Her first reaction when he came to Konoha was not a kiss on the cheek or a hug (like the ones she always gave him, and he'd never push her away—except, of course, that one time in the inane survival training exercise Kakashi gave them), or not even a 'hi', but a punch. How his jaw ached after that punch. Then that's when she hugged him, caressing his jaw as she did.

The way they just stood there, you would've thought Sasuke would take this chance to kiss her and win the bet. But the thought never crossed his mind.

"Sakura—"

"We should go," she interrupted, smiling at him like she always did.

She started to leave. As Sasuke just stood there as his unspoken words still floated around in his mind. He came to when Naruto's mocking words of accusing him with feelings for Sakura replaced his unheard statement.

"Get a grip, Sasuke," he said to himself.

"Jeez, what took you guys so long?" Naruto asked when they finally arrived. "You didn't do anything I'm not supposed to know about, did you?"

He gave Sasuke a conspirational wink.

"You pervert," Sakura glared at him.

Naruto flinched at Sakura's menacing look. As Sasuke saw this display, he can't help but feel a sense of pride. The only one who had this ability to make someone frightened by nothing more than a look was him. And Sakura was picking up on it.

"Okay, I think we wasted enough time for today," Sasuke said. "We should be returning to our mission if we want to come home before sunset tomorrow."

Naruto blanched. "_Tomorrow? _We're going home _tomorrow?_"

"Yeah, we took too long on our break so now we're completely lost on where the Rock ninjas are," Sasuke replied. "You got a problem with that?"

"Got a _problem _with that? Of course, I do!" Naruto yelled, flailing his arms around wildly. "Unlike _someone_ I know, I actually want to go home as soon as possible because I _love _my village."

"How romantic," Sasuke said, pokerfaced.

"Ch. I'd hump it if I could."

Sakura bonked him on the head for his language.

"Then if you want to go home before midnight then we should really go now," Sasuke said, tired of this usual routine.

"I thought we can't go back before sunset tomorrow," Sakura said.

"If you're willing to exceed your limits, then I think we could go home today."

Sakura bit her lip as soon as she heard the words 'exceed your limits'. Clearly, Sasuke has no idea what he's dealing with here. Or maybe Sasuke really meant for that to happen.

_Great, _Sakura sighed. _Now there's no stopping him._

Naruto grinned and jumped onto the nearest branch he could find. "Come on, slowpokes!"

Sakura heaved another long sigh. She just hoped they'd have enough energy to last the next five or so kilometers. Neither Naruto nor Sasuke would allow any stopping at this rate.

"You really shouldn't have said that," Sakura chided Sasuke as they leapt from tree branch to tree branch.

Naruto was nothing more than an orange spot to their vision.

"If I hadn't, he'd still be yelling at me," Sasuke replied.

Sakura blew away a stray wisp of her pink hair. That sounded reasonable. Still, while the prospect of being on an A -rank mission with the two men in her life was pretty exciting, she wanted nothing more than being curled up on her couch and talking with Ino about said two men in her life.

If they kept those annoying guy things up, then it's clear she wouldn't be having her first kiss any time soon.

_Woe is me._

**A/N: YAY! Finished Chapter 3 :) Yet I did something unforgivable. Once again, Inner Fluff Junkie ESCAPED :O To make things worse, IFJ decided to put fluff in the story. HOW COULD I DO SUCH A THING? Putting fluff in a HUMOR FIC! I am shameless. I didn't even give you guys any warning. Sorry 'bout that. So it's clear this would turn out a SasuSaku. Whoops, SPOILER! Sorry. Again. I was thinking about changing the genres from Humor to Romance/Humor but then my two major characters are Naruto and Sasuke so…people might get the wrong idea. I gave Sasuke and Sakura a moment :D FUNNEH. Oh, and of course, reviews :) Please. You alert Bet so you might as well review. Oh, oh! And I'm proud of myself because this was my first uninterrupted chapter in this story ever! I said I won't write any one-shots until I finish it so yay me! This author's note is getting a bit long.**


	4. Naruto's Mind Tricks

**A/N: I am so, so sorry for the late update. See, I got a new laptop (HOOORAAAAAAAY!) and I'm still trying to get used to it. Lame excuse, I know. Or maybe I just suddenly sucked at writing. **_**Naaaah. **_**Anyway, I'm gonna try to write this all in one sitting. Thanks for all your support! Oh, and Sakura's team is called, in fact, Team Sakura. HELLZ YEAH, BITCHES. Sakura has her own team now. Who's **_**your **_**Chuunin?**

**Chapter 4: Naruto's Mind Tricks**

**Summary: In which Naruto shows how deceitful he really is.**

Disclaimer: I own a new laptop and the _**NEW NARUTO SHIPPUDEN: ULTIMATE NINJA HEROES 3**_(not the game, of course. Just a copy of it) but not the series. Nor do I own WWE/Edge. HAVE YOU SEEN RANDY ORTON? That guy's hot. But also not mine.

* * *

It was nearing dusk but Team Sakura still has not found the Rock ninjas. The Chuunin was starting to get worried for her team. Sasuke and Naruto, apparently, turned the mission into a silent competition somewhere around mid-afternoon and either refused to slow down, let alone stop. All of them are running low on chakra and on patience, as well.

"Stupid Sasuke!" Naruto shouted. "What kind of pathetic team captain doesn't know the whereabouts of the enemy?"

"I'm not the team captain, you retard!" Sasuke retorted.

"So you're calling _me _pathetic, then?" Sakura said, a nerve throbbing on her forehead.

"Sasuke-teme said it!"

"Oh, passing the blame on to me again, are we?"

"Will you two stop fighting?"

Naruto suddenly stopped, causing Sasuke to be surprised at his abrupt action, or lack thereof, and crashed into his backside. Sakura could only stare at the two men grappling each other as gravity gained the upper hand and pulled both men facedown into the ground.

"Are you…are you guys alright?" Sakura nervously asked when neither one moved for about four seconds.

"_WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, ATTACKING ME FROM BEHIND?_" Naruto cried in an outburst of rage.

"_Why did you stop_?" Sasuke countered.

"_I WAS TIRED OUT!_"

"_Well, what are you blaming me for?_"

"_I THOUGHT YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE FAST REFELXES!"_

"_And I thought you're the one with the unbelievable stamina!_"

"Okay, you guys, stop!" Sakura interfered before this could get any worse. "This inane fighting has _got _to stop!"

Naruto let an angered expression stay on his face for a while before exhaling heavily. "Sorry, Sakura-chan…and Sasuke-te—"

Sakura shot him a warning glance.

The Kyuubi boy gulped. "I mean, Sasuke."

"Well, how about you, Sasuke-kun? Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Sakura turned to the other man.

Sasuke was silent.

"Well?"

"It would be for the best if we separated from here. We'll be able to scout more of the area that way. I'll take west," Sasuke replied.

Naruto and Sakura gaped at him, not believing how shameless this guy could be. Naruto was the one to react first.

"What's wrong with you?" he demanded. "Don't you really have anything to say for yourself? _Well, you know what? YOU'VE GOT SOME BALLS THERE!_"

Sasuke smirked. "At least I have some."

It took a while for the words to register to Naruto. Meanwhile, Sakura felt verbally violated. This long-term fight just turned for the worse. Naruto's face made a show of contorting into a variety of different facial expressions and as a grand finale, he let out a shrill shriek.

"_SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEE!_"

Then he charged towards Sasuke. Neither Sakura nor Sasuke expected Naruto to pull a move similar to WWE Superstar Edge's Spear on Sasuke, which caused the latter to eventually fall unconscious.

Well, that's what could have happened if Sasuke didn't move out of the way and instead knocked Naruto out, who fell unconscious. Because as Naruto stated before, Sasuke had _really _fast reflexes and knew that if a certain orange-wearing blonde ninja rampages his way towards you, you'll be out of it before you even hit the ground.

The air was enveloped with silence for a good three seconds before Sakura erupted into a fury.

"What the _hell_, Sasuke-kun!" she cried. "Are you totally _possessed_?"

The Uchiha silenced the Haruno (1) with a piercing glare. "Do you want me to knock you out as well?"

Now it was Sakura's turn to glare. "You already did that before, thank you very much."

"I'm…sorry," Sasuke said.

"You could apologize to me and not him?" Sakura pointed to the knocked out ninja.

"Will we still scout the area?"

"With him out cold? No, that wouldn't be a good idea," Sakura said, already making plans to camp where they are. "I'll be looking for some supplies and firewood. You stay here and guard over him and for any enemies that might come."

"You had your turn a while I ago. I should be the one to look for—"

"I thought my instructions were clear."

"…fine. But hurry up. It's too dark already," Sasuke said.

"Hn. Nice to know you care about me…Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, amused, before disappearing into the forest. Again.

_What was that supposed to mean? _Sasuke thought to himself.

"If you're thinking about what that means, it means she's thinking you're starting to have feelings for her."

Sasuke looked to the ground. "Dobe."

Naruto rubbed his head and sat up. "Man, that was some punch."

"Aren't you supposed to be unconscious?" Sasuke asked, sitting down.

"I pretended to be. I was hoping to get some priceless stuff from you guys but then all you talked about were getting supplies," Naruto scrunched up his nose.

"You are an idiot. Sakura was worried about you," Sasuke reprimanded.

"Yeah? She didn't say that."

"She _yelled _at me," Sasuke's brow furrowed at the memory.

Naruto almost doubled over at that statement. "She did _not_!"

It was as if he expected Sasuke to say, "Oh, yes, she did, girlfriend!" (2)

"Yes. Yes, she did," Sasuke slowly said.

Oh, well. Close enough.

"Y'know, Sasuke, sometimes you have to open your eyes and see what's there," Naruto said, acting like a bartender who was asked for advice.

"What are you _talking_ about?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "You better move before Sakura could like another person."

"I thought you were the one who wanted to kiss her," Sasuke said.

"Argh! You're not getting it!" Naruto exclaimed, exasperated. "Think of this as a kind word of advice from your concerned best friend. Sakura likes you, yes? She _luuurves _you. The fact that she _yelled _at you says something. I think you should be a man and go hook up with the girl before she lets you go. Can you imagine her going after another guy?"

"I wouldn't really care if she likes someone else," Sasuke said.

"Okay, let's pretend you are."

"How would that help anyone?"

"I just want to know your goddamn opinion!"

Even Naruto would admit, playing matchmaker is fun but it starts to get annoying and tiring after you've tried to hook two people up for six years.

"Okay, fine."

"_Finally_. So, for example, you like Sakura. And you're too much of a wuss to make your move. Then she starts to like someone else, let's say…Lee—"

"What makes you think she'd go for someone like Lee after she liked me?" Sasuke cut him off, visibly offended.

"For _example_, teme," Naruto patiently repeated. "Anyway, so she now likes Lee. And they're getting all mushy with each other while you just stand there like an idiot in the background, still waiting for the girl to make the move. What do you do, then?"

Sasuke seems to muse over this. "Wait. If she still claims she loves me after running off after Orochimaru for three years, then planned the destruction of Konoha after killing the Sannin, what would stop her from loving me now?"

Naruto smiled. _Now _they were getting somewhere. "Well, you know what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"I think this is enough talk about Sakura for today."

"Aw, _come _on! It's starting to get fun!" Naruto whined.

"Perhaps this was how Lee got Hyuuga to date Tenten," Sasuke muttered.

"What was that?"

"How could have come up with this bet? I thought you were starting to get interested in Neji's cousin," Sasuke said.

"I thought you didn't care."

"You're insisting on having this heart-to-heart, I might as well include this."

"Hm. Hinata's nice. This is just a game anyway," Naruto shrugged. Then a grin spread on his face. "Thinking of her makes me wanna go home."

"Oh, please. Don't."

"A girl we're fighting _fooooooooor_!" Naruto sang. (3)

"Someone's already awake."

"Ah, Sakura-chan!"

Sasuke looked up to see Sakura carrying the water thermos, an armful of firewood and three fish she carried around using chakra strings. He stood up and got the load from her. As Naruto saw this gentlemanly display, he grinned as Hook-Up-Sasuke-teme-and-Sakura-chan Plan No. 21 brewed in his head.

_This could be easier on my part than I expected._

The next day, Team Sakura headed out at 5:30 a.m. At first, Naruto complained but complied all the same. They planned to separate at 8:30, when they were fully awake.

"So, listen. Let's review our plans. Sasuke-kun would take west. You'll keep an eye out for the Rock nins and provoke them in battle. Naruto, who'll take east and I, who'll go forward, will act as back-up. Both of you would have to cover me the most 'cause I need my chakra for healing any injuries you two may have," Sakura explained. "Naruto, it'd be best if you don't provoke the enemies if you spot them. Conceal yourself before they sense you and contact me and Sasuke-kun immediately. The radio transmitters' frequencies are all set."

"I still don't get why the bastard could fight them off while I still have to call you both," Naruto said, still sore about waking up so early.

"Naruto, Sasuke-kun could take on a hundred ninjas without killing them and not have a scratch on him. While you are, and I admit, skilled and a good ninja, six Jounins are still too much for you," Sakura said. "Oh, and you guys should be cautious of your surroundings. I can't keep much track of you guys since I'm not very aware of the territory. This isn't Fire Country anymore."

Naruto grunted in response. "Whatever. Ch. 'Skilled and a good ninja'."

Hours later, it was already time for the team to dissipate.

"Remember the plan, guys!" Sakura called after them. "And be careful!"

They went off in their own directions.

_I hope Sasuke-kun and Naruto are safe. I hate separating like this. If those Rock nins aren't moving around so much, I would've never resorted to this method_, Sakura thought. _Oh, those guys are so much stronger now. They might actually be worrying about me._

She laughed to herself as she thought about her teammates' growth.

What she didn't know was that a certain teammate was planning something bad for her right now. Well, _he_ doesn't think it's bad at all.

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura had each traveled approximately one kilometer when Naruto contacted the other two for help.

"Hey, guys, I need…I need help," he said into his radio transmitter.

"Naruto, you idiot! You couldn't even help yourself and you wonder why Sasuke-kun's the one to provoke the attacks!" Sakura chided.

"It better be the ninjas from the Rock Village," Sasuke replied.

"I'm around 1.5 kilometers due east. Or maybe somewhere around the northeast area. I'm at a thick part of the forest," Naruto said.

"Hang in there, Naruto."

In truth, Naruto was perfectly fine. He felt a little bad for tricking Sakura. And Sasuke. Okay, maybe not so much on Sasuke. But definitely Sakura.

"I can't believe they even bought it," Naruto said to himself. "Or Sasuke-teme would. I didn't start that conversation last night for _nothing_. Or maybe he knows what I'm up to and just going after Sakura-chan. Hm. Reasonable enough."

Sasuke and Sakura were almost to Naruto's location when they met up.

"Sasuke-kun!"

"There's something I don't believe about Naruto's 'cry for help'," Sasuke told her.

"What do you mean?"

"His location. I think I know where he is and where we are. I've heard things about that place," he continued.

"He wouldn't play a trick on us," Sakura quickly came to Naruto's defense. "Even he would think that's a waste of time with what limited time we have."

The pair eventually arrived at where Naruto said he was.

"Naruto?" Sakura called. "Where are you?"

"Can you hear me, Sakura-chan?" came from Sakura's radio transmitter.

"Yeah. Where are you?"

"Oh, good. Sorry, Sakura-chan. I really didn't want to do this to hurt you but you're at—"

"Oh, you are _dead_, dobe!" Sasuke suddenly said.

"What's wrong?" Sakura asked.

"_Naruto_," Sasuke said through clenched teeth. "This is the worst thing you could have ever done."

"Okay, I don't know what's going on!" Sakura declared, starting to get nervous from Sasuke's reaction.

"Genjutsu."

"Wh-what?"

"He sent us to a genjutsu. This forest where we're in. He just lured us here. A few years ago, someone released a powerful genjutsu in the form of a forest around here and it stayed. Apparently, we're in it. We can't get out unless someone cancels it," Sasuke sighed. "It wouldn't hold for long so we need to escape quickly.

"I could do that," Sakura offered.

"No. Someone has to do it from outside. We'll have to wait until Naruto decides to let us out. Damn it."

Sakura's lower lip trembled. Her heart stopped before it beat faster and faster.

"We have a…we have a p-problem," she stammered.

"What is it?"

Sasuke's eyes widened in horror when Sakura leaned closer and whispered in his ear. "_NARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_"

A few hundred meters away, Naruto realized something.

"Oh, wait a minute. I can't cancel out jutsus."

**1. It sounds weird but it works**

**2. Running gag between me and my friends XD**

**3. Who **_**doesn't **_**love this song from Mulan? **

**A/N: HOORAY! ONCE AGAIN, I HAVE WRITTEN A CHAPTER….(insert dramatic pause)…..UNINTERRUPTED! Yay! Was Sasuke too OOC here? I realized that when I wrote Sasuke getting the load from Sakura. Sasuke can be a gentleman. I **_**know **_**he can. Because if he's not, I'll torture him through fic. Oh, wait, I already did that. OH WELL! Something's wrong here. I'm starting to lose interest in this story. Maybe I'll insert another plot here. It's from a plot bunny I got a few days ago. It was very minor so I decided I'll just insert it here. Haha, I love my ending! I miss Part1!Naruto. He's still a little immature in Part 2 but then he got a little grown up. Blech. I think I made fun of this chapter too much. OH WELL!**


	5. You, Me and a Genjutsu

Disclaimer: Ha. Not mine. How'd you guess?

* * *

Sasuke paced across the forest. He was trying to look for any opening or hole. Sakura nervously observed her teammate. The guy looked like a terribly recovering drug addict who whiffed a trace of heroin.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun, you should rest now," she advised, moving closer to place a hand on his shoulder.

"No, we need to get out of here. I can't let…we need to get out of here," Sasuke said.

The medic-nin sighed. "I'm really starting to get worried. You never panic like this."

"I've been here before."

Sakura seemed surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. Orochimaru sent me here when I was still…new."

Sasuke's voice was quiet. Sakura knew he didn't like recalling his days as Orochimaru's student or as the Sannin often called him, his future vessel.

"Why'd he send you here?" Sakura asked.

"He wanted to know how I could survive in a genjutsu. This was supposed to be the easiest part. Then it got harder. Anyway, when he sent me here, I was thinking he was underestimating me. But I was wrong," Sasuke regretfully said. "It's only a matter of time before a person loses his sanity."

"So you're saying you went insane while you were in here?"

"…anyway, we need to get out before dark or at all costs, before midnight," Sasuke replied, ignoring her assumption.

Sasuke and Sakura spent a few more minutes trying to look for a hole in the genjutsu. Then when they were almost giving up, Sakura suggested looking further since they only looked in their immediate areas, to which Sasuke strictly refused and said, "We can't. If we do that, we might wander into the chakra-sucking part of this forest." Sakura sighed and resumed doing their then fruitless search.

_Naruto, you are gonna get it when I get my hands on you_, Sakura angrily thought to herself.

Sasuke was muttering the same thing.

In an attempt to lighten the tense atmosphere, Sakura laughed nervously and said, "You gotta admit, this sorta brings back memories."

"What are you talking about?"

Sakura swiped at her sweaty forehead. "This reminds me of the Forest of Death."

At that, Sasuke stiffened. He didn't have any memories he was particularly fond of during that second part of the Chuunin exams.

"Why is that?" he asked Tsunade's young apprentice.

"Um, well, the huge forest is a clue. Makes me feel nostalgic."

"_Nostalgic?_" Sasuke raised up his voice at her apparently horrible word choice. "At _what_ exactly do you have to feel nostalgic for? I've had the worst moment of my life there!"

Sakura was awfully confused. She didn't get why Sasuke was suddenly angry at her. "Calm down, Sasuke-kun! I meant that I remember how we worked together as a team without our sensei. It was our first huge try at being independent. And what worst moment?"

"It might have slipped your mind but let me refresh your memory. I got my curse mark there," Sasuke growled. "At that moment, my life took a shortcut to _hell_."

Sakura felt hurt. Sasuke appears to be unaware but she had one of the best moments that time. It slipped _his _mind but he held her hand. Sure, the curse mark was horrible but why would anyone think that's a problem when she held his hand? She was twelve, give her a break.

Sasuke raged on. "Because of that mark, I became number one candidate for having a 50-year old subhuman take control of my body. I betrayed my own village and ran after him for power. I killed my brother. I conspired against Konoha with Uchiha Madara. How could I _ever _think receiving that curse mark be a _good thing _to feel nostalgic for? _How could you say such a thing?_"

Sakura stared at him, thoroughly dumbfounded. "I never said that. I only said I missed the days when we could work with each other without having to look at you and remember that you've been a criminal."

"…stop changing topics, Sakura."

"Besides, I thought the worst moment of your life was when Itachi wiped out your clan," Sakura said.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. First, she tells him that she relished the very second Orochimaru decides to ruin his life and now she's saying that Itachi was a hero for destroying the Uchiha? Is she trying to traumatize him with terrible memories?

"Are you poking fun at the Uchiha Massacre?"

"No! I'm saying I—"

"Are you saying my clan is _weak_?"

"Sasuke-kun, I only—"

"If your clan was wiped out, would _you_ be laughingabout it then?"

Sakura gave up on convincing Sasuke she was only _trying to make conversation_. At this rate, they would only quarrel and waste time and, according to Sasuke's warning, go insane. She let the man rant on for a while, letting him throw his tantrum, before trying to contact Naruto through the radio transmitter.

"Naruto," she said. "We need to get out. Get some people to come here. Our mission is now a huge, epic failure, thanks to you and your stupid trick. Do you copy? Get home and ask Tsunade-sama to send someone who is capable of releasing a powerful genjutsu."

No response.

_Dammit. I can't reach him._

She looked behind her and saw Sasuke staring at her expectantly.

"Knowing Naruto, he'd be miles away from now. He'll try to take on those Jounins by himself," he said.

Sakura gave a groan of despair. "We're gonna _die!_"

"Don't worry."

She looked up at this rare display of consolation.

"The worst thing that could possibly happen to us is get attacked by the horrible monsters this forest is filled with."

Sakura bowed her head gravely. They are really going to die.

* * *

"Hm," Naruto said to himself. "I wonder how Sasuke-teme and Sakura-chan are doing."

He was surrounded by the motionless bodies of six Jounins of the Rock Village, four were dead and the other two are bleeding profusely.

"What should I do to help them?"

He sat down on the ground, a brooding expression resting on his face as he ponders on what action he should take.

* * *

_1.26 pm, Forest Genjutsu_

_Still stranded in the forest._

_I try to be productive by looking for food, though Sasuke-kun thinks it's stupid for the reason that we are only hypnotized and if I _did _get food, we'd be eating air._

_Naruto is still unreachable and nowhere in sight._

_Sasuke-kun still unproductively looks for an opening._

Sakura scribbled away in her little notebook, the only way she could think of to pass the time. Sasuke suggested training but…_ugh_.

* * *

The orange-clad ninja is still sitting on the ground, thinking pretty hard.

He was concentrating so much that he didn't even realize he threw a kunai in the face of the Rock nin who, with all the strength he could muster, lifted his head to check on his comrades.

* * *

_2. 08 pm, Forest Genjutsu_

_Nothing new._

_I found some orange berries. I tried to feed some to Sasuke-kun but he scurried away, as if they were going to eat _him_._

_It was probably because they were poisonous but I think it was for the reason that the color reminds me so much of this certain ninja. _

_Speaking of which, Naruto is still M.I.A._

_I hope a bear eats his face. He deserves it for stranding me here._

_I think Sasuke-kun lost his mind already. That would be such a shame._

_But I suppose I could live with a mentally-incapable person. It would be __**unforgivable**__ if I let him go walk around this world _single_._

_Bad. V. bad, Sakura. Must. Control. Fangirl. Tendencies._

She lifted her head to check again on Sasuke. He was leaning against a tree, eyes closed shut. Smiling warmly, Sakura produced a blanket from her bag pack and draped it over Sasuke. He grunted a little before resuming his sleep.

She set aside her notebook and pen before following suit and closing her eyes, resting to recharge herself for this particularly draining day.

* * *

Naruto had sat completely still in his spot for two hours.

It was the most thinking he had ever done his whole life.

* * *

Sasuke woke up only fifteen minutes after sleeping. He felt disgruntled in his sleep, so it was not a very restful one. He was too busy looking out for their safety. He was especially mad at Sakura for sleeping and leaving no one to keep guard and thought about chastising her when he saw her sleeping form.

She looked so peaceful and childlike. Who could even get mad at someone so angelic?

Sasuke quickly banished the thought and popped the berries she picked earlier into his mouth. Then he proceeded to read some of the scrolls he brought along that could be helpful in their predicament. But he did that after covering Sakura with the same blanket he woke up to being wrapped in.

She woke up a few minutes later, feeling so refreshed she didn't even notice the blanket.

"Good. You're up," Sasuke told her. "I found some scrolls that we could use. Give them a look?"

She nodded and walked closer to him, hearing what he found so interesting.

Sakura was still suspicious about Sasuke. Earlier he was so mean and blamed her for everything and now he was speaking to her civilly. She noticed a few berries missing from her side, where she left them and shook her head.

_I dunno what those berries do but they sure did Sasuke-kun a lot of good._

"We'll try to perform the hand seals and see what happens next," Sasuke instructed.

"Wait a minute," Sakura interrupted. "How will this help us? I thought only someone outside could release the genjutsu temporarily."

"We'll see what'll happen."

"I don't think this is safe."

"It's better than doing nothing."

_Ugh, you're telling me._

Simultaneously, they performed the hand seals for tiger, horse, pig and sheep. Then…

"Oh, you have _got _to be kidding me."

Sakura, the one who reacted first, was staring at herself. The same way Sasuke was staring at himself.

"Why the _hell _am I in your body?" Sasuke growled in Sakura's voice, which while rather feminine is still intimidating.

"I—I dunno!" Sakura replied frantically. "_You're _the one who suggested doing whatever we're doing!"

"This…this doesn't make sense! I was only gonna transport us somewhere else!" Sasuke said.

"Can I see those scrolls?"

Sasuke in Sakura's body bent to the ground to pick up the scroll and handed them to Sakura.

Sakura's eyes widened in shock as she scanned over the scroll. "We're not compatible for this jutsu!"

"What?"

"We can't do this jutsu together! There's a special kind of training for this!" Sakura cried. "It must've gone haywire as we did it and we ended up in…each…other…instead."

Sakura inwardly cringed at how wrong that sounded.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you _ask me_ about them?"

Sasuke clenched his fists. "Great. Not only are we stranded in a genjutsu, we're in each other's bodies."

Sakura flinched again.

"There's probably a remedy for this," Sasuke said. Then he looked at Sakura.

"Don't look at me! I'm a medic-nin, not someone who fixes screwed up jutsus!"

Sasuke sighed. "I guess we'll have to bear with this until we go home."

Sakura glumly walked back to her backpack and pulled out two objects.

_2.16 pm, Forest Genjutsu_

_I am in Sasuke-kun's body, which is so wrong on many levels._

_Naruto's status: M.I.A and SO dead._

…_we're still being unproductive._

* * *

**A/N: Well then. This story is going nowhere. It's also sort of short. As for the Sasuke-into-Sakura-and-vice-versa thing, I got the idea from a chapter from link and luigi's Naruto Primer. I LOVE THAT STORY XD Btw, have you seen her blog? The link is on her profile. That was hella funny! Don't read if you worship Twilight and/or cannot stand any heavy criticism towards it. You should read it! It got me laughing out loud. Especially her "Being a 'little breathless' doesn't make sense. It's like being a little homeless" comment XD**


	6. Sasuke The Teenage Kunoichi

**A/N: I'm disappointed. I got a review that I'm not very happy about. I want to take this opportunity to clear things up. Ms. Snowy, wherever or whoever the hell you are, please **_**try**_** to understand that human beings such as myself can commit mistakes and it appears I have committed a mistake of my own. Sure, I put this under the genre ****romance/humor**** and had my **_**main characters**_** Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. Just because I wrote them as my main characters does NOT mean they would end up together. I'm sure you could understand that. And I am also very sorry that you and anyone else assumed that. I didn't make things clear so I'm sorry. I am NOT, however, **_**promoting **_**my story by making this look like a SasuNaru. I would NEVER do something so despicable like that. The same way I didn't mean to put this under a SasuNaru section. Btw, please do tell me how the hell you can even do that. I can't control where my stories are going. So, please. Don't ever call what I'm doing pathetic without even knowing what the fuck is wrong.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

It was getting closer to nightfall.

Sakura was still in Sasuke's body, Sasuke was still in her body and both of them are still stranded in the Forest Genjutsu.

Trying to make conversation again, Sakura said, "I wonder what the other teams are doing. Wherever they are, I bet they're doing better than us."

She laughed weakly.

"This is not a laughing matter," Sasuke replied sternly.

Sakura's laughing faded. _Jeez. Five years later and he's still the fun-loving Uchiha we know._

From an outsider's perspective, it looks rather strange seeing Uchiha Sasuke look flustered over being scolded by Haruno Sakura, whose brow was set in a deep frown.

"Um, okay," Sakura squeaked. "How about Naruto, huh? Do you think he's having as much fun as we are?"

"We are _not _having fun."

"I think it's interesting being a man…temporarily," she added when Sasuke gave her a mean look.

"You know," Sakura said. "The threatening factor isn't as high when you make _me _glare. Don't make me look like such a huge jerk."

"Don't make me look so feminine."

Sakura gasped dramatically. Again, it looks very weird when Sasuke does it. "_Feminine? _Is my _girlish_ spirithindering your _sperm production_?"

"…"

"Or did your penis disappear once I entered your body? _Should I check if it's still there?_"

"Don't you dare!" Sasuke barked.

"Oh, protective, are we?" Sakura taunted.

She still had feelings for the guy but sometimes he deserved things like this, didn't he?

"Fine. If you let me look under your shirt to check if you're really flat like they say," Sasuke smirked.

Sakura's face reddened. "_LIES! Stop spouting LIES!_"

"Relax. I was kidding."

A nerve throbbed on the pink-haired woman's head. This _is how he kids around? Look who's telling me to relax!_

Usually, Sakura would be kind to Sasuke like she was in her fangirl stage while Sasuke would respect Sakura but the stress has been catching up with the both of them.

"Supplies!" Sakura suddenly said. "I'll get some supplies!"

Sasuke raised a thin, pink eyebrow. "What for?"

"We're stranded. I'll look for some things that might be helpful," Sakura replied, making a move towards the deeper parts of the forest.

"Well, don't let anything attack you."

Sakura smiled to herself. It was his way of saying 'be careful' in the most caring way he can. Sasuke watched his own body walk away.

For a while, Sasuke observed his surroundings, scrutinizing the trees and the ground he's sitting on. Getting bored of that, he semiconsciously grazed his, or rather, Sakura's skin. Fascinated by its softness, he squeezed her upper arm but frowned at the lack of muscle in the bicep he was used to. Standing up, he almost toppled over. Sakura was disturbingly light.

_What are these in front of me?_

Sasuke felt an unusual weight on the chest area. Then he looked down. And then he quickly looked up. He remembered his tasteless joke about Sakura being flat and instantly regretted it.

_Isn't she bothered by these things? _Sasuke thought, finding it hard to walk around with _those things _in front of him.

It took a while to get used to.

And it's so uncomfortable! Sasuke wondered if girls are always uncomfortable. It seemed so uncharacteristic for Sasuke to have anything relating to girls cross his mind but seeing that he was actually _in _one, it's sorta inevitable. Sasuke touched the locks of pink hair. Like Sakura's skin, they were soft and smelled distantly of strawberries.

_Ch. Still always taking care of her hair._

"Hey, Sasuke-kun, we have, um, a little trouble."

Sasuke turned. Running towards him was Sakura in his body and rampaging towards her was a large, ugly creature. It seemed to be one of the monsters Sasuke warned her about.

"What did you _do_?" Sasuke shouted as they ran.

"Nothing! I was playing with its baby!"

"Playing with—_do you want to die?_"

"Well, what are you waiting for? Chidori it!"

"Chidori it?"

"Yeah!" Sakura said, rolling her eyes. "I dunno, Kirin it or something!"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"It's a genjutsu," Sasuke explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "If I ran a Chidori through it, it'll only pass through it like air. It's not a concrete object."

Sakura stopped running. Sasuke stared after her like she was crazy.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke demanded.

"If it'll try to kill us, it will only pass through us. Right?"

"No! That thing will really eat us!"

At that, Sakura resumed running. "Why can it attack us but we can't kill it?"

"I really don't know."

"That's _unfair_!"

"Tell me about it."

Sasuke and Sakura managed to escape the creature but both aren't sure for how long they'd last until it finds them.

"Maybe we should get back to our stuff," Sakura whispered.

"We'll get our things when it's safe," Sasuke whispered back.

"…"

"…"

"So when _is _it safe?"

"I can't hear the creature anymore so…I guess it's safe now."

Sasuke and Sakura got up from their hiding place and walked back to the area they were camping in.

Sakura snickered.

"_What?_" Sasuke hissed.

"You were running away from a creature. It didn't even know any sort of ninjutsu."

"You were running away, too," Sasuke scowled.

"Are you—are you comparing_ me_ to _you_?" Sakura gushed. "Gosh, Sasuke-kun, I am _honored_!"

If he dared, he'd let himself laugh at her obnoxiousness.

"It was practically undefeatable," Sasuke replied.

"It's late. We should let ourselves sleep."

"You know…we've been on this mission for three days now," Sakura said. "We still haven't spotted the Rock ninjas."

"…yeah, I know."

* * *

After several hours of thinking, Naruto finally came up with a solution to his friends' problem.

"I'LL GO AFTER THEM!"

* * *

Sakura scrunched up her nose when she sniffed out something unholy.

"Sasuke-kun, go take a bath!" she commanded the Uchiha.

"What's wrong with how I, I mean, you smell?" Sasuke asked.

"My perfume's wearing out. Here," she handed Sasuke a set of clothes, a bar of soap and a small bottle of shampoo.

"And just where do you expect me to take a bath?"

"Somewhere with water," Sakura replied. Then narrowing her eyes at Sasuke, she added, "Don't look down. If you do, I'll know. And don't even try to feel me up!"

"Do I strike you as that kind of person?" Sasuke smirked.

He walked away. Sakura shook her head.

"Men used to be so polite," she muttered before returning to her journal.

_6. 14 pm, Forest Genjutsu_

_Nothing new again. _

_I got an epiphany as the terrible creature chased after me: LIFE HATES ME._

_There is no other explanation. _

_Life thinks I'm not good enough to DIE and instead tortures me though the weirdest ways like getting stalked on my own date, being sixteen and kiss-less, being the ONLY SANE ONE IN OUR TEAM, getting stranded in a genjutsu with only the village idiot to be our savior and BEING INSIDE A MAN'S BODY._

_This is icky and extremely gross. How could men even sit down with these hairy, stinky blobs hanging between their legs?_

_

* * *

_

Meanwhile, Sasuke was standing naked in the lake. He stumbled upon it earlier so he decided he'll take a bath there.

Sakura had strictly told him off about not feeling her up or looking down. How could he wash himself if he can't even see what he's washing? And how could he soap if he can't even feel her body? Sometimes, Sakura could be very unreasonable.

He decided he'll just wash, if Sakura likes it or not. She's lucky he even agreed to _this_.

After washing up, he dried off and got into the clothes Sakura have him. As he was pulling the shirt over his head, something fell out. He peered closely at the object.

"What's this? Some kind of sponge?" he asked himself.

Shrugging it off, he left the object behind and walked back to camp.

* * *

After writing in her journal, Sakura sensed Sasuke's presence.

"Oh, you're back. I hope you didn't look down or feel me up," she giggled.

"How could you stand this?" Sasuke said. "I feel uncomfortable! There's an unbearable pain in your chest."

"You mean, my breasts?" Sakura placed a hand on her hip, amused at Sasuke's visible discomfort at the word.

"Yeah."

"Maybe it's a sign of breast canc—"

It took everything in Sakura to not laugh. She saw what the problem was.

Sasuke looked at their team captain strangely as she held her sides and clamped a hand over her mouth to suppress the giggles.

Uchiha Sasuke had forgotten to wear a bra.

* * *

Naruto had traveled far enough to know exactly where he led Sasuke and Sakura.

"I hope they're still alive," he said.

From the smile on his face, it was like he expected he'd be bringing home another two non-virgins.

That's what he did last year with Neji and Tenten.

Dropping to the ground, Naruto looked around the forest.

"Sakura-chan?" he said into the radio transmitter.

It was silent on the other end for a few moments then it crackled to life.

"Naruto? Are you there?"

"Teme?"

"…um, yeah, yeah! It's teme. Listen. You need to go home to Konoha and find people who can—"

Naruto found himself staring at Sakura and Sasuke, both staring back and looking absolutely horrified and bewildered. He was successful in finding the genjutsu.

"Hey, guys!" he cheerfully greeted.

"Please," Sakura, who Naruto actually thought was Sasuke, pleaded him with begging eyes. "Tell me you went home. Tell me you were smart enough to find people who'll let us out of here."

Naruto shook his head. "No, why…_oh. _So we're all…stuck here…forever."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Naruto jumped at the sight of Sasuke wailing and Sakura glaring daggers at him. He was awfully confused. Why is Sasuke crying like that? And since when did Sakura learn how to glare like Sasuke? And why does Sakura look like she's not wearing a b—

"DOBE!"

Sakura charged at him and punched him in the face.

"Let me guess," Naruto said weakly. "You're Sasuke-teme, aren't you? And that's Sakura-chan."

"Yeah," Sasuke snapped. "And you're the idiot who just brought the downfall of us all."

* * *

**A/N: Tell me if you guys are starting to get tired of this whole stranded in the Forest Genjutsu thing. I'll end this soon. Probably. Or I'll create more plot twists. And make you even more confused :D **


	7. Finally!

****

A/N: I came across this Naruto forum. The posts got me laughing so hard XD It's about the worst pairings in the series and somewhere in the forum, someone proposed a war on coming up with the most outrageous pairings XD LOL, I can't believe someone actually wrote a HidanxKabuto fic. THE MADNESS! Aww, you guys are so sweet :) I read your reviews :D

**Warning! This chapter is done in a RANDOM!ATTACK, thus being extremely weird and full of pure, sweet CRACK.**

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, I'll go back in time to redo whatever mistake I'd done that resulted in a Sakura bicycle. I hate how she can be paired off with ANYONE and EVERYONE. A SakuraxChiyo? REALLY? _Such things exist now?_

* * *

"_What have I done to deserve this?_" Sakura screeched at the sky. "_I've been a freaking ANGEL!_"

Sasuke was saying things to no one in particular. Naruto hugged his knees under a tree, scared to death by his friends' strange actions.

"I should never have done this," he groaned. "They've turned into _retards_."

"_WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?_" Sakura screamed at a rock. "_YOU ARE NOT PRETTIER THAN ME!_"

Naruto's lower lip trembled. He was so close to yelling his head off himself.

"I'm a good boy," Sasuke said softly. "I'm a good boy and the _voices_ will help me out."

"_I ATE A KUNAI FOR BREAKFAST! WHAT DID __**YOU**__ HAVE FOR BREAKFAST, HUH?_"

"G-get me out of here!" Naruto finally snapped, slamming his head against a tree. "I'm surrounded by _retards_!"

Sakura threw Sasuke's sandal at Naruto's head. "_WHO'RE YOU CALLING A __**LEOTARD**__, INO-PIG?_"

Naruto whimpered. He didn't _mean _for everything to come to this. He just wanted Sasuke and Sakura to be alone, for crying out loud! He didn't want his two best friends in the world to be in each other's bodies. And he certainly didn't want them to act like _this_.

"Okay, I'll leave you two to do your stuff," he said to his two teammates. "If you decide to be sane again, I'm right here."

* * *

Back in Konoha, a very busy Hokage was hunching over her desk. And contrary to popular belief, she was _not _sleeping or passed out. Not this time, anyway. Today, Tsunade was checking her lottery numbers. She was bending over because there might be some nosy Chuunin assho—some nosy Chuunin looking over her shoulder to see if her numbers were wrong. Again.

"_Shizune!_" she called. "_Call back-up for Team Sakura! They're in trouble!_"

Tsunade left her office, leaving behind two pieces of paper on her desk, both of them containing exactly the same numbers.

* * *

All the members of Team Sakura were sleeping when Naruto sensed something moving a few feet from him.

"Who's there?" he called out. "Hey, Sakura-chan, I think something's out there."

Sakura sleepily replied, "Give it something to eat. It's hungry."

Not happy with this suggestion, Naruto went over to the mysterious moving object to investigate.

"What the—_RASENGAN!_"

"Naruto, what is it?" Sakura worriedly said, now fully awake.

Her sleep managed to restore her back to sanity.

Naruto emerged from the trees, panting. "The tree! It _moved_."

Sasuke, awakened from the noise, gave him a blank stare. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah!"

"You wasted a Rasengan on a 'moving tree'?" Sakura asked.

"Um, _yeah_. What else am I gonna do?"

"I think you're still dreaming. Go back to sleep, idiot," Sasuke said before closing his eyes.

"This forest is doing things to you," Sakura sneered.

Naruto squinted at his teammates. "_I'm _the crazy one? Hey! You guys are the crazy ones, not me! I don't talk to myself or to _rocks_! Have you guys seen yourselves when you—"

"I said _go back to sleep_," Sasuke said through gritted teeth.

He was losing his patience for the blonde ninja. It's bad enough he did _this_. Sasuke absentmindedly pulled some strands of pink hair and then became aware of this fact. He frowned, remembering he was still a _woman_.

_I think I miss Orochimaru's lair._

* * *

"What do you think is wrong with Sakura's team?"

"Tsunade-sama only told us she's sure they're in danger."

"No matter! I shall save Sakura-san from harm's way!"

"Sasuke and Naruto are there, too, you know."

"YOSH, TEAM! MOVE ONWARD, WITH THE POWER OF YOUTH!"

Shizune watched the four people leave the gates of Konoha. She glanced critically at her superior. "Tsunade-sama, are you sure that it's a good idea to send them to back up Team Sakura?"

"Yeah. They've always been the back-up team. Is there a problem?"

"Well, last time Naruto interacted with their team, we had a few problems with them…"

"Oh, that's right. Bring some sake on your way up, will you?"

* * *

"They've forgotten about us," Naruto lamented. "It'll take _years _before they notice we're gone. I'll never be Hokage!"

Sasuke threw glares at him. He didn't like how Naruto narrated how the rest of their lives would be like. "Shut up."

"I'LL NEVER SEE HINATA-CHAN AGAIN!"

"Shut. Up."

"WE ARE NEVER GOING TO SEE KAKASHI-SENSEI'S MASK…_EVER!_"

"I said, shut up!"

"Guys, seriously! Can you stop fighting for _once_?" a tired kunoichi said. "I need to go to the bathroom. You stay here and _don't fight_."

She walked away.

Then, Sasuke yelled out after her, "Don't look down!"

"Do I strike you as that kind of person?"

Sasuke grimaced. It's so annoying when people speak cryptically like that!

"Hey, have you kissed her yet?" Naruto asked when Sakura was out of earshot.

Sasuke scoffed. "How could you think of things like that at a place like this?"

"I just noticed that it's been days since we made that bet and we haven't made any progress," Naruto said. "Well, at least _you_ haven't. I asked her out."

"I've been thinking."

"Yeah?"

"And I don't want to do this bet anymore."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You said that before but then you wanted to do it again."

"I don't care if people think I'm gay. I don't want to raise Sakura's hopes again," Sasuke said thoughtfully.

"_Really._"

Sasuke sighed. "I hurt her too much before and I don't want to ruin everything again now that things are back to normal. But things aren't really back to normal."

Naruto stared at his friend, Sasuke's words failing to move him. _Woah. Does being in a girl's body do that? He actually sounds _human_._

"Not when she misses the days when we could work with each other without having to look at me and remember that I've been a criminal," Sasuke continued, his emotions vastly evident in Sakura's emerald orbs.

"Oh my God, Sasuke. Did the—did the estrogen get to you already?" Naruto asked, wide-eyed.

"You idiot! I was trying to be serious!" Sasuke angrily reprimanded him. "This bet about kissing Sakura first—"

"A _bet _on kissing me first?"

Sasuke and Naruto stiffened. The same thing ran through their minds.

_I sense danger._

"Ahaha, Sa-Sakura-chan!" Naruto nervously laughed, trying to get Sakura to smile with a huge grin of his own.

He cowered in fear. Sakura's glare is even _scarier _when she's Sasuke. With her frightening expression that could've scared away a bear, Naruto expected Sasuke's head to spin wildly around in circles. Maybe even some foam at the mouth, too.

"You made a bet on kissing me first? And I suppose I'm right if I say Naruto started this," Sakura stated, still very angry.

Her expression, however, softened into a hurt one when she turned to Sasuke. "And you accepted? Is this all I am to you guys? A freaking _game_?"

"No! No, Sakura-chan, we only—"

A warning hand from Sakura made him stop.

Sasuke didn't have anything to say. He didn't have anything to say either when she grabbed him and crushed her face to his.

"Congratulations," she said halfheartedly when she was done. "You won your stupid bet."

The friendly atmosphere between Team Seven shattered.

* * *

"Neji, can you see any sources of chakra?"

The Byakugan-user shook his head. "Not yet."

"Team Sakura's been away for this mission for three days now," Tenten declared. "Do you think they're…"

"Do you doubt their skills, Tenten?" Lee asked. "Sasuke-kun could have been an ANBU captain if he didn't leave and Naruto-kun is really doing well. Sakura-san—"

"Blossomed into a beautiful flower and is an exceptional kunoichi, I _know_," Tenten rolled her eyes. "If you like her so much, why don't you make a move already? Naruto just asked her out a few days ago."

"And ruin the wonderful bond of friendship that we have and vandalize it with scandalous acts?" Lee snorted. "I don't think so."

Tenten gaped. "F-For your information, Neji and I—"

"The power of love brings forth a new kind of power in Konoha!" Gai interjected, showing off his sparkly teeth in a smile.

His three students said nothing. Well, Lee did. Neji and Tenten stayed silent, their faces flushing with every word about young love the mighty duo screamed.

"Stop!" Neji suddenly said.

The other three stopped.

"I could see three people in front of us," he explained.

Lee hesitatingly said, "Neji, no one's here."

"This is odd," the Hyuuga observed, checking their surroundings.

The taijutsu specialist moved forward. Then before Team Gai's eyes, Lee disappeared.

"Lee!" Gai cried out, waving his arms in front of him. "Where is my handsome student?"

"Right here!" Tenten grinned, pointing to Neji.

Meanwhile, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were still eerily quiet when Lee appeared, staggering as he did.

Naruto shrieked in surprise. "Ahh! Bushy Brows!"

"Lee-san, what are you doing here?" Sakura asked, walking to him.

"Sasuke-kun! This is where you've been?" Lee said, looking at her, then at the other two behind her.

Sakura was confused at first, but then she remembered she was in Sasuke's body. "Lee-san, it's me, Sakura."

Lee stared at her for a while before running to Sasuke, who he thought was Sakura. "Sakura-san!"

"Wait, no, I'm not—"

It was too late. Lee had him in a bone-crushing hug before Sasuke even knew what was happening.

"This is the worst thing that ever happened to me!" Naruto screamed. "Of all the people, it had to be _him_!"

He pointed a judgmental finger at Lee.

Then they found themselves in different environment.

"Get out quickly!" they heard Neji say. "We can't hold this for long."

It took the combined efforts of Neji, Tenten and Gai to cancel out the genjutsu. None of them were exceptionally good in chakra control.

Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto and Lee got out before they got trapped again.

"Thanks, guys. I'm really glad you found us," Sakura said.

Tenten leaned over to Neji. "Did Sasuke just thank us?"

Neji replied by saying, "He's also really glad."

"Our mission is complete!" Gai exclaimed. "To Konoha, ONWARD! WITH THE _FULL POWER OF YOUTH AND LOVE!_"

The teenagers—except Lee—accompanying him cringed.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee said to his hero. "Let's have a race!"

_PING! _"Good idea, Lee!"

The remaining ninjas exhaled heavily as the two raced on, leaving behind clouds of dust.

"_Finally. _We're going home," Naruto exclaimed.

As they went on with their journey, Tenten noticed something.

"Hey, Sakura, aren't you wearing a b—"

"_Shut up_," Sakura as Sasuke hissed.

Tenten was puzzled.

Naruto saw this and whispered to her, "Don't worry. They did something we're not supposed to know about."

* * *

**A/N: I remembered that Naruto and Sasuke had the bet. Wow. I ACTUALLY forgot. How I forget when it's written all over my title? Let me make some things a little clear. Oh, don't worry! This isn't a rant :P Technically, Team Gai doesn't need Gai anymore since Neji's a Jounin (ISN'T HE AWESOME? I CAN'T BELIEVE SASUKE HAD FANGIRLS **_**FIRST**_**! I don't accept the reason Uchiha was introduced before Neji) but then Gai is SO fun so I just included him here. As for the genjutsu, I made Team Sakura and Lee hidden from Neji, Tenten and Gai because it sorta affects them as well. It's a hypnosis so I made it so that the forest and all its contents are invisible to outsiders. I like Tenten's cheeky comment about Neji being Gai's handsome student XD And **_**yes**_**, screwitall has the ability to turn a humorous crack fic into a soap opera.**


	8. A Problem Sasuke Doesn't Mind Having

**A/N: I've recently watched a lot of Gai videos on YouTube. The first I watched was Gai vs. Kisame...alright, I admit. I watched it for the NejiTen moment. Wasn't the moment so adorable? But GOD. I could never take Gai seriously in a battle. Not with that green jumpsuit, I don't. And then the next one I watched was the funny moment between Gai and Sai. The one with the spandex. Oh. My. God. When I watched that, I was...my mind was BLOWN. I could never look at Sai the same way again. Seriously. Those anime affects don't do it for him. **

**YAY, TEAM GAI! And sorry if this is a little late. I was too busy packing up for Hong Kong. I still have yet to see if the hotel we're staying in has Internet connection.**

Disclaimer: Yeah, you guessed it. If I owned it, I won't EVER do that to Sai. It was disturbing.

* * *

"Did you hear? Sasuke-kun got kissed!"

"Really? By who?"

"They said it was her teammate. That Sakura girl."

"Lucky bitch. _I _wanted to kiss Sasuke-kun."

"Don't worry. We'll get him to kiss us somehow."

* * *

Team Sakura and Team Gai got home around sunset. Gai had instructed them to report to Tsunade before resting up and ask her for an antidote on Sasuke and Sakura's problem. Sakura told them about the transportation jutsu gone wrong when she managed to get Gai to stop his race with Lee for a while.

"Oh, man, I am _tired_!" Naruto had exclaimed when they reached the village gates. "Hey, Sasuke-teme, treat me to ramen. I deserve it after the _mess_ I've been through."

"With the way you talk, it's like you were divorced," Sasuke said. "I'm not gonna treat you. I have to talk to Hokage-sama."

Naruto pouted at his refusal but then he remembered something he was supposed to ask Sasuke earlier.

"Hey, Sasuke, can you do something for me?"

"What."

Naruto walked closer, as if to say something confidential. "When you come back, you might be in your body again and Sakura-chan would never let this happen so do you think you can open her shirt?"

Sasuke stared at him coldly, as if to say, _Hell. Freaking. No._

"You don't have to pretend you enjoy it! Just let me get a glimpse of what's really underneath the underneath, if you catch my drift," Naruto gave Sasuke a hoary wink.

The Uchiha prodigy returned the gesture with a hard punch to the face. "You are disgusting. I cannot believe I actually thought before you were better than me."

He left the kitsune boy on the ground, moaning and clutching his jaw.

"Sakura!"

Sasuke failed to respond at first, forgetting again he was in Sakura's body. It only registered to him when a familiar-looking blonde female got in his face and pushed him.

"What. The. Hell," Sasuke growled.

Ino rolled her eyes. "Wow, girl, when did you learn to talk like Sasuke?"

He glared at her.

"Anyway, speaking of Sasuke, I heard you kissed him!" Ino said excitedly. "What have you been doing, you slut?"

Sasuke almost gagged. They talk like _that_ to each other?

Ino continued. "You have no idea how mad the other girls are! It's amazing how things like this spread like wildfire, right? Of course, Tenten said Naruto told her and you know how he is. He likes messing with our heads but then I actually saw Sasuke telling _everyone _you kissed him and that he was such a _douchebag _for treating you like that. It was hilarious! I never thought he would trash-talk himself like that."

Sasuke tuned her out. What is Sakura _doing_? Sure, he made..._Naruto _made a bet on kissing her and that was pretty mean but going around the village _sabotaging_ him? That is unacceptable!

"And then Shikamaru said he had to go to the Sand again. I think he's cheating on—"

"Tell me," Sasuke interrupted, clearly showing he had no special interest in Ino's love live. "Tell me where you saw Sasuke."

"I heard him saying something about getting a tattoo," Ino replied, quite annoyed that he interrupted her.

Sasuke ground his teeth in anger then stomped towards the tattoo shop. But not after snarling at Ino, "You women are evil."

The azure-eyed girl gawked after him, totally perplexed.

Sasuke didn't go far when a mob of girls suddenly crowded him.

"Where do you think you're going?" a brunette with green eyes snottily asked.

"Do you think you actually have a chance with Sasuke-kun?" another sneered.

Sasuke was losing his patience. _Perhaps the forest appears to be much more desirable compared to this._

All around him, girls were pulling at Sakura's hair, bombarding him with questions and throwing insults his way. It infuriated him, how these girls were treating Sakura this way. Of course, currently he was the one being burdened by her problem but to think that Sakura actually had to go through all this! If was free to do so, he'd Chidori all of them.

"All of you shut the hell up!" he shouted, surprising everyone within hearing range.

Sakura never lost patience with them this way. Sure, it irritates her but then she always walks out, having no unkind word to say.

"Leave me alone," he said, his tone quieter yet even fiercer.

Once again, Sasuke resumed his search for Sakura.

"Did she really—"

"No doubt. Everyone heard her."

"Hey, did you notice she wasn't wearing a bra?"

At the tattoo shop, Sakura was sitting on a chair, reading a magazine. She was reading an article on men and their many mysteries when she found herself looking into twin pools of emerald.

"Sa. Ku. Ra."

"What do you want?" Sakura snapped, (unsuccessfully) reclaiming the magazine.

Sasuke frowned. Sakura was still very angry at him. Not that he expected her to cool off anytime soon.

"You're taking advantage of my body," Sasuke said.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. You're making sound like Orochimaru."

"You know what I'm talking about."

"You're getting mad at _me _now?" Sakura angrily retorted. "Face it. You honestly deserve this."

In the middle of getting yelled at, Sasuke noticed Sakura hadn't uttered his name. It was the suffix that's the problem. He knew she chose not to say his name, much less attached with the suffix, whenever she was angry at him, which, fortunately for him, isn't very frequent. The –kun is too endearing, too charming.

"Sakura, you called me a douchebag in front of everyone I know. How do you expect me to look at them after that?"

"And you and Naruto treated me as a game. How do you expect me to feel after that, huh?" Sakura countered.

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "We didn't mean for you to feel that way. I was about to call it off when you came."

"R-Really?"

"Yeah. Idiot. You definitely have a case of bad timing," Sasuke snorted. "You always have to be the damsel in distress and the victim in a soap opera."

Sakura sulked. "And just when I thought you're starting to be sweet."

"Anyway, now everyone thinks you kissed me."

"Well, I _did_, didn't I?" Sakura smirked in triumph. "You should be thankful. Now everyone thinks you're a man, isn't that great? Oh, except for this."

Sakura produced a weapon from her side. Sasuke held back a gasp of horror as she shoved the weapon into his hands.

"You bedazzled my katana?" he hissed.

Sakura shrugged. "You deserved it."

"And you had to violate my body with a tattoo as well?"

"Oh!" Sakura laughed. "It's a good thing you weren't too late. It's my turn next. I was gonna ask for my name to be tattooed on your chest."

Sasuke looked at her questioningly. "What for?"

"To remind people you're mine," Sakura smiled.

"Hold on. That kiss was for the bet only," Sasuke said.

"God, you're slow," the medic-nin huffed. "What made you think I was thinking about the bet when I kissed you?"

"You were angry at me."

"I was. But you have this annoying way of making people _not _angry at you, you know? Besides, I already told everyone we're taken."

Silence.

"We better report for Hokage-sama," Sakura stood up. "Oh, and check this out. I make a really good impression of you."

She folded her arms across her chest, turned up her nose sideways and put on a superior look.

"Usuratonkachi," she said in a low voice she meant to sound masculine.

"..."

Sasuke said nothing as she yanked on his arm and dragged him all the way to the Hokage Tower, still dazzled by Sakura's big news. No one else saw the smile lingering on the former avenger's lips when he repeated her words in her head.

"_You have this annoying way of making people _not _angry at you, you know?" _

"Tsunade-sama!" Sakura burst into the office. "We have a problem."

Tsunade eyed her calmly. "What's wrong, Uchiha?"

"It's me, Sakura," Sakura said.

The Godaime looked at her weirdly before turning to Sasuke. "What's wrong, Sakura?"

"Sakura and I switched bodies," Sasuke explained. "We were trapped in the Forest Genjutsu somewhere along the outer borders of the Fire Country and we attempted a transportation jutsu and _this _happened."

Tsunade motioned Shizune to get a bottle of elixir from a lab a few doors down. "I see. There aren't any other side effects other than this one?"

"Well, Sasuke-kun's out of character," Sakura supplied. "He was being nice."

Tsunade seemed amused. "You sure you want to switch back?"

"I'm sure," Sasuke said through clenched teeth.

Shizune returned, a jar of strange, pink liquid in hand and two shot glasses in the other. She poured the pink liquid into the glasses and handed one each to the two ninjas.

"Shot glasses?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Pretend it's margarita," Tsunade waved a hand at him, urging him to drink the medicine.

"Side effects?"

"None, none."

Sasuke and Sakura looked at each other, unsure, and gulped down the elixir. Within seconds, they found themselves in their own bodies.

"It worked!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Of course it worked," Tsunade scoffed. "Will I make you drink something that _bad _for you guys?"

"Well, actually," Sakura started, relating to the time when Tsunade made her drink a potion that she thought was supposed to improve her stamina.

It was a potion to increase her sex appeal. Sakura was hounded by preadolescent boys for weeks.

"Well, it's been a long day!" Tsunade declared. "You kids should rest up."

She ushered the two outside. "Good night!"

Sasuke and Sakura stood outside the office for a while, sort of disoriented, when Sasuke offered to walk her home. They walked under the stars in silence when Sakura spoke up.

"You know," she said. "You can tell the others we're not really together if you want."

Sasuke was surprised to hear this. He expected her to blackmail him into confirming it. Sakura was actually quite sadistic if given the chance.

"That wouldn't be necessary," he replied.

"Why not? You don't really like me, don't you?" Sakura said.

"Well, not as much as you like me but...I don't particularly _hate _you."

"You don't hook up with people just because they don't hate you," she said, her tone hinting remorse.

Sasuke shrugged. "I suppose there's a start for everything."

Sakura looked at her companion suspiciously. _And I thought Tsunade-sama said there wouldn't be any side effects._

Sasuke merely looked down on the ground, maybe avoiding her eyes. He wasn't known to be very emotional, let alone _romantic_, and he was now having this sort of conversation, which he usually avoids like the plague.

"Okay. So I don't hate you, too," Sakura said.

"Hn."

He felt the lightest of pressure and the softest of lips brushing against his jaw and a delicate hand gently slipping away from his. He didn't even know she held his hand until then. When Sasuke turned, Sakura was nowhere in sight yet he still heard her merry laughter ringing in his ears.

A genuine smile played along his lips. _And I think we're on a really good start._

As he walked home, a peaceful feeling resided in his heart, all the negative emotions and hate in it banished away as he finally felt one of life's most mysterious yet delightful obstacles: love.

And unlike the many problems he faced the last four days, this was one he didn't mind having.

* * *

Around nine the next morning, Sasuke awoke to the sound of someone rapping his knuckles against the door.

"Teme?"

Sasuke sandwiched his head between two pillows and let the idiot come in on his own. It didn't take Naruto long enough to barge into his room and tear the pillow out of his grip.

"Hey, Sasuke-teme, listen. Let's have a bet."

Sasuke grunted in response. But then he remembered last night's events, complete with the wonderful emotions that he gave in to. Sitting up, he smirked and looked Naruto in the eye.

"Bring it on."

* * *

**A/N: IT'S OVER! You didn't expect it to end this fast, didn't you? But it's finally over! I noticed a lot of people liked my Inner Fluff Junkie so much so I gave you a treat and totally splurged on this chapter. I think I was almost crying when I reread Sasuke's part about finally being at peace even if he was so horribly OOC but it sounds so beautiful. Sorry, I'm being conceited. I think I want to write an epilogue. Sasuke's ending remark was SO asking for it but at the same time it's like it should be left that way. You guys might disagree or scream in horror ("WHERE IS THE SARCASTIC BITCH KNOWN AS SCREWITALL WE CAME TO KNOW?") but this is definitely my favourite chapter. Rant (you may want to NOT read this): OKAY, OKAY! I get it! Some people don't get it. Main characters aren't **_**necessarily **_**going to end up together. But OKAY, I SURRENDER. Sakura and Sasuke are NOW my main characters. But why are people being so cynical and thinking I'm tricking SasuNaru fans into reading a SasuSaku? *cries* I am NOT! Sorry, okay? I didn't know main characters are SUPPOSED to end up together. I'm saddened. My author's note is VERY long. Okay, I've decided to write an epilogue. With longer author's note!**


	9. EPILOGUE

***EPILOGUE***

* * *

Sakura filed her nails, waiting for Ino to answer the phone.

"Hello?" a voice said at the other end of the line.

"Hey, Ino, it's me, Sakura."

"Oh, what's up, Sakura?"

"I was wondering...if a guy says he _doesn't _hate you, what does that mean?"

A brief silence from Ino. "It depends, I guess. Who is he?"

Sakura allowed herself to smile. "Oh, someone special."

"Um, okay. Hey, listen, Forehead, I heard Sasuke's fanboys went to the Sand after your little flirting with Sasuke," Ino sounded amused.

"Really? The fan_boys_? And to the Sand? For what?"

"For _who_, you mean. Poor Gaara. Younger boys are on Sasuke's fanboys' radar now. As for the girls, they stayed and went after Neji instead. Tenten was _furious_!" Ino giggled. "Girls didn't see it coming until Tenten bombed the entire training grounds."

A hand flew up to Sakura's mouth. "Oh my God! Are they okay?"

"Well, Neji and Tenten were. The girls are in intensive care. We women are evil, right?," Ino said. "How about your teammates? How are you guys?"

"Sasuke-kun and Naruto are in trouble again," Sakura sighed. "They tried to see how Kakashi-sensei looked without his mask and one of their plans went wrong."

"And you and Sasuke-kun?"

"Are doing so great, thanks," Sakura replied. "News on Shikamaru?"

"Ugh. I don't want to talk about it. Hey, I have to go now. Bye, Sakura. I'll see you later," Ino hung up.

Sakura put the phone down. She sat in silence for a while when something glittering caught her eye. She grinned, remembering the time it was hung up on the wall.

"_Why are you still insisting on hanging it up there?" Sakura asked._

"_It reminds me of the time the best day of my life," Sasuke replied._

"_Oh, stop," Sakura playfully said, hugging Sasuke from behind._

She heard the door unlock and came to greet the one who came in.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun. How did Tsunade-sama punish you guys today?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Community service. Let's eat dinner later."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her upstairs, to their bedroom. Sakura gave the glittering ornament one last glance before going up.

It was the bedazzled katana.

* * *

**Author's Note/s and Acknowledgments:**

**WOW. So **_**now**_**, it's really done. I made Sasuke and Sakura live together. I like how I made the katana a remembrance of some sort. And yeah, I actually **_**tortured **_**Gaara. Sorry, Gaara! Isn't he such an awesome Kazekage? As for last chapter, have you heard Sasuke say 'Usuratonkachi'? You gotta admit, it sounds really hot. Naruto has his 'dattebayo' and Sakura has her 'Sasuke-kun!' I got the idea from this video (once again, on YT) called "At the End of this Video, you will be SICK of Team Seven'. It's sorta funny. But Team Gai's my favourite team anyway so whatever. Acknowledgments! I don't know if an 8-chapter, plus epilogue, story needs acknowledgements (how do you SPELL this? MS Word accepts it with or without the 'e' after 'g') but it's so fun to see your name (or at least pen name) in a story, RIGHT?**

**Viry-chan-MY NUMBER ONE REVIEWER AND THE AWESOMEST MEXICAN I KNOW. Also known as a Sasuke fangirl :)) Your PMs always make my day and your reviews have encouraged me and made me feel so loved. THANKS SO MUCH! And don't worry, we'll get on that collab soon. Everyone watch out for it! Well...we haven't actually done it yet but we have started!...if only we weren't so busy talking about SasuSaku XD**

**WishingStar05-this girl is AMAZING. Also a frequent reviewer and a possible good friend, with her oh-so-sweet words. More of a supporter than a writer. I think you should start. Because I am ITCHING to return the favours and the reviews :D Thanks for your love! Oh, and you're ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD. IN MY OWN STORIES!**

**ScarletCamellia-reviews my stories a LOT. One of the people out there who believed in me when I still doubted myself. You rock! ****Veroxion-another believer! Also love this one. So cool with everything. Hope you liked Chapter 8! AND OHMYGOD. GWEVIN. Have you seen the LJ community for this ship? I'm a member XD I'm soulsforever but I don't use LJ anymore.**

**sometimes love just isn't enough-I LOVE YOUR PEN NAME :D I'm glad I made you laugh :D**

**Tigers-and-dragons-just recently started reviewing and reading my stories but affected me so greatly all the same! I LOVE YOU AND I HOPE YOU HAVE PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT YOU AS WELL :D**

**Blood-Thirsty-Zero-for having that SasuSaku vs. NaruSaku pairing war with me. See how nice I am to you despite your BURNING hate for Sasuke? He's a bastard, sure, but COME ON. You've inspired me to write EVEN MORE SasuSaku fics. But seriously, for making me see things in a whole new perspective. You're probably dead or lost in the woods since you aren't replying anymore but GOD. I TOTALLY OWNED YOU, DIDN'T I?**

**And EVERYONE ELSE OUT THERE WHO REVIEWED **_**BET**_**. I love you all and I hope the best for you guys. Please don't be sad if I failed to mention you. I really appreciate what you guys have done. And it's probably because you're so much better than me that I was jealous ;) KIDDING.**

**Wouldn't it be so awesome if this actually happened in the series? Okay, I'm gonna end now. THANKS SO MUCH, EVERYONE!**


End file.
